Re-evaluating

One of the things that I have always thought I was pretty good at was reading people, and then doing an okay job of de-escalating situations which emotions run high, at least in my job aspect of things.  I am generally not an over-thinker, but want to deal and work through mis-understandings and move on!

That being said, I work with approximately 35 high school girls on a daily basis.......emotions tend to run high.....all of the time.  You would think that growing up in a family of 6 girls, I would have had a lot of practice dealing with drama, but I think the difference was even when we were hot fire ticked off at each other, we weren't dis-respectful and all out rude.  I'm sure there were exceptions, but for the most part we knew where the boundaries were, and didn't often push the limit.  We would duke it out, and then get over and say I'm sorry.

This truly has been one of my best teaching years ever.  This is the first job I have had that I have an entire crop of kids that are all mine in my high school program, and I love it!  They sound amazing!  My top choir qualified to go to state the end of April, and because they have met and risen to the expectations of performing well, I have been trying to take them to the next level...........and that is where I suppose I have gotten in trouble for assuming.

Which is where the whole reading people thing comes in.  I have had a few kids talk with me this week about how awful choir has been, and it has totally blind-sided me................I really truly don't know how I can be in the same room, and have such an opposite perspective.

I'm kind of in a middle land.  Though choir really has been great, I still don't have the comfort of booming numbers.  It's growing, but it is still very much in the nurturing phase, where you must sometimes make sacrifices.  One of my weak spots I suppose is that at times I try so hard to see the good in kids that I let them push the limit too far before I intervene, and then I hurt their feelings when I have to reprimand them.  I really don't want to come across as a hard-ass, but I don't like feeling taken advantage of either.  Sometimes I wish there were more classes in college dealing with inter-personal skills.  You go into the job thinking you're going to have a bunch of kids who are super eager to please you, and who want to do their best in their performance.  And then reality hits, and you realize you have to be the motivation.  Because though kids may want to be there, they are sometimes a tough crowd, and don't really know what they want.

I think the most frustrating thing for me right now, is that a week ago, I really in my heart of hearts thought everything was peachy!  Back to the drawing board I suppose.  We never arrive, that I know, but we can have one heck of a memorable journey.

Wish me luck, back in the trenches tomorrow.